Limited Time Only (@limited_timeonly)
DRUMSTICK SWEET & SALTY CRACKER
On an unseasonably cold January morning at the Peter's Ice Cream office, an important meeting was taking place. "OK guys, we need ANOTHER new flavour. We only released 456 new flavours last year and we need to beat that figure" said Steve, who I'd assume was the boss by the way he asserted his authority with each word. "Anyone have ideas?" Johnson looked up from the Dunkaroos he was currently devouring and thought to himself, "ok Johnson, this is your turn to shine big fella. Even though you've been going through all of that nasty stuff with the wife walking out on you, taking the kids, the car and all of your belongings (not your Dunkaroos though, she'll never get her hands on those) oh and also your dog just died, this is your moment to SHINE!" He cleared his throat, wiped the chocolate from his lips, stood up and said "what about, like, Jatz or something?" Steve looked surprised and with as much authority as he could possibly put in his voice he said, "Well, you're obviously fired mate. Get all of your shit together and get the fuck out." And Johnson was never seen again. But, even though his idea was terrible and he was obviously high as shit, they used his suggestion anyway because they were way too lazy to think of anything else. Also, they wanted to get home quickly so that they could also get high as shit.
So Johnson, this review is for you buddy. We don't know where you are, and all that you've left behind is a shit tonne of Dunkaroos and an IDEA. And that idea is probably the best Drumstick I have ever eaten in my life. It's so fucking stupid though Johnson. WTF were you thinking!? But it's absolutely delicious, you crazy crackhead. Please come back buddy. We miss you.