💖long caption but please read. I think it might be helpful💖
I know it’s hard to believe when it hasn’t happened yet, because you’re doing what you can and maybe it’s hard to live another day when it all feels pointless. I’ve been there. Quite recently, if I’m being honest. Depression has hit me harder than I thought it ever would. //
But then today came. An ordinary day, where my “plans” canceled, where I have 2747294 things to do to study for my upcoming exams. It seemed like a great opportunity for my depression to settle as I listen to sad instrumental music trying to stay awake and figure out math as a hopeless perfectionist. But that, for once, was not the case. I pushed myself to be productive, even though all I wanted was to lay in bed and waste the day away on my phone (so instead I did that a little bit; allowing fun into my day without ruining it). I took breaks. I drank enough water. Today I could breathe. I appreciated being alive in subtle ways. My emotions weren’t extreme, I was simply happy and at peace. I was efficient, non-perfectionistic, i looked after my mental health, and I refused to be angry at little things. I let myself breathe. I didn’t get mad at myself. I lowered my expectations and decided to be proud for what I did accomplish today. And that is balance. Something I’ve been searching seemingly forever for.
I cant say I’ve found balance eternally or now I know how to be this way every day; it’s a process and things are bound to mess up here and there. But these little days, or even moments, are truly worth living for. You just have to find yours. Because they seemed like some sort of far-off dream to me too. But I hope you know that today, I felt happy. It’s possible. Please don’t lose hope💛💛 your day will come, too. And trust me when I say you don’t want to miss it.